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8 Reasons Why Men Use Negging-and Why Women Hate It “ Thoughts On Life And Love | Mental Health Therapy

Mandy Kloppers
4 min readDec 21, 2024

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In the world of dating, you may have come across the term “negging.” Negging refers to the act of delivering backhanded compliments or subtly critical remarks designed to undermine someone’s confidence while appearing playful or flirtatious. While some men use this tactic to gain attention or control in a conversation, women overwhelmingly dislike it-and for good reason.

Negging has become a divisive dating behaviour, and understanding why men use it and why women hate it can shine a light on the flaws of this strategy. Let’s break it down.

Why Do Men Use Negging?

1. To Gain Power Through Control
Negging is often rooted in a desire to gain power in a social or romantic interaction. By undermining a woman’s confidence, men who use this tactic hope to create a dynamic where they seem more dominant or in control.

  • Example of a neg: “You’d be really pretty if you wore less makeup.”
  • Why they do it: The goal is to make the woman question herself, putting the man in a perceived position of authority or expertise.

Why it’s a problem: Women see through this power play and find it manipulative rather than charming…

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Mandy Kloppers
Mandy Kloppers

Written by Mandy Kloppers

Author, psychologist & blogger. Love tea, underdogs,kind people & my bed … CBT Counsellor/ Blog: www.thoughtsonlifeandlove.com

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