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Coercive control — the signs and what to do
Coercive control can be difficult to identify and you might have been in a relationship for years without being fully aware that you are being coercively controlled. It’s easy to know when you are physically abused — you have bruises and injuries as evidence. Coercive control is more subtle. You might be aware that something feels off but you have most likely allowed your self-doubt to win.
Psychological domestic abuse is hard to identify. It is often only after the accumulation of many, subtle and separate behaviours that domestic abuse can be identified
The behaviours are so subtly nuanced, so varying and, very often, so seemingly innocuous, that it is tempting to dismiss them as insignificant and harmless.
A new relationship starts off filled with promise and happiness. You feel giddy and in love. A new love interest can be very charming in the beginning. Most people are on their best behaviour initially and put their best foot forward. It can seem almost too good to be true. Be careful — negative changes can start within 3–6 months and true colours emerge eventually. No one can keep up the act forever. Over time, coercive control creeps in little by little. A little jealousy can seem flattering but keep in mind that it could be the start of more extreme behaviour to come.