Push Pull relationships
You may be wondering what a ‘push pull’ relationship is and whether you have ever experienced one. It’s a common dynamic that emerges in many relationships and is a typical example of game playing. One partner gushes over the other, full of praise and keen interest (the pusher). The other person enjoys the attention and gets lulled into a false sense of security. They revel in the attention and feel special and valued. The pusher then seems to lose interest and pulls away causing the other partner to immediately wonder what they have done wrong.
This is classic push and pull relationship and leaves couples full of tension and instability. Of course some people thrive on this dynamic but the truth is that no one’s emotions can withstand this kind of emotional roller coaster indefinitely. Sooner or later. emotions become frayed and insecurities become insurmountable.
We all like a bit of a challenge in a relationship but the classic push pull manouevre can become emotionally exhausting. We think we are loved and accepted, and then the rug gets pulled and we begin to doubt our perceptions. What have I done? I thought they liked me but now I don’t understand why they have changed their attitude and behaviour towards me?