The rise of perfectionism — Thoughts on Life and Love

The rise of perfectionism is easy to see. We live in a meritocracy where you gain validation and acceptance for your achievements. Behaviours associated with competition and the attainment of social standing have risen. In recent years, data suggests that individuals across the industrialized world have become preoccupied with upward social comparison, experience considerable status anxiety, and adopt materialism as a means of perfecting their lives in relation to others. (Those who prefer a slower life tend to be judged as lazy or lacking in ambition. The irony is that these individuals who reject the rat race may the the wise ones.)

Perfectionists spend their lives striving and achieving and these behaviours are strong linked to their sense of self worth. They never feel good enough and rarely bask in their success. As soon as they have achieved a goal, they are on to the next one. I have rarely met a perfectionist who was happy with themselves or their lives. They never feel good enough.

I once met a client who was about to go on a holiday to Ibiza. She was incredibly anxious about the trip and when I enquired further she explained that she had been dieitng for weeks and going to the gym so that she could take the perfect selfie. She planned to put this instagram and felt that if she was unable to take the perfect selfie for…