Top tips for managing social anxiety

Managing social anxiety involves doing the opposite of your normal behaviour. Many people with social anxiety avoid social gatherings. Avoidance is the worst way that you can manage social anxiety. The more you avoid, the more the fearful thoughts rule and never get tested out in reality.

Use ‘approach’ behaviour for managing social anxiety

We often overestimate the threat and we underestimate our ability to cope. We think ahead and imagine all sorts of stressful situations. For example, with social anxiety, we imagine having nothing to say. We imagine standing in the corner looking like the misfit whilst everyone else enjoys the party. These frightening thoughts lead us to withdraw even further.

When we imagine the future in this way, we are taking on board our insecurities and fears as facts. No one can predict the future yet we scare ourselves thinking about worst-case scenarios.

Approach behaviour builds self-confidence. Usually, the worst-case scenario doesn’t happen. It’s well known that anticipatory anxiety is inaccurate and we go into a different mindset when we are actually in the situation. We don’t have time to worry about all that might go wrong and just get stuck in.