Trying to change someone is a waste of time

No one is perfect. No matter who we date, there will always be something that we wish they would change. If you are lucky their habits that irritate you will be small and fairly insignificant. If however their behaviour begins to affect the quality of the relationship, you may find yourself wishing that they were different. Trying to change someone is a waste of time because if there are significant issues, they are unlikely to improve.
When trying to change someone is possible
If you are arguing over the toothpaste cap, this should be resolved fairly easily. If however you are arguing over how someone treats you, this becomes more complex. Many of our behaviours are ingrained and cannot be changed by pure will alone. Change is possible when the irritations are minor. For example: your other half constantly leaves their dirty washing on the floor. This behaviour isn’t related to a personality trait but rather a bad habit. In this example trying to change someone isn’t a waste of time. If your partner constantly stays out late and doesn’t tell you when they will be home, this can also easily be resolved.
Communication
Communication is key for resolving the smaller issues. Not only is how you say something important but also the way you say it matters. When you are trying to change someone, it won’t help if you use words like “you always” or “you never”. This type of language will make a person become defensive and they will shut you out.

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