Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Member-only story

Why people stay in abusive relationships

Mandy Kloppers

--

When I speak to people who have been in an abusive relationship, there are usually common factors. Do you have the characteristics that make you more vulnerable to stay in an abusive relationship? Abuse includes physical, mental and emotional abuse.

FEAR OF BEING ALONE

This fear can be very intense and you will do anything to avoid being alone, including staying with someone who is no good for you. You tend to ignore your own needs and values to keep the relationship going. If this is the case you may be doing things that are not in your best interests. Perhaps you are convinced you will be alone if the relationship ends. It’s normal to feel lonely after a relationship ends but feeling alone is different. It implies isolation and alienation which isn’t normal.

SELF CRITICAL

When you are self critica, you become your own worst enemy. It can lead to feeling of worthlessness. If your partner criticises you for the same things you feel insecure about, it’s much harder to maintain positive personal boundaries and counteract the criticism from others.

Being sef critical can be tied up with feeling worthless — a sense that others are superior to you. This belief can make it more likely to go for people who breate you and put you down. After all this makes…

--

--

No responses yet